Read Part 2 here - or else you will be confused AF
Aladdin takes the lamp out, rubs it, and boom.
A cool idea in theory, I wouldn’t disagree, but that’s not how things work in real life. Yes, I’m really fat, and yes I do make wishes come true. But I have just as much authority as anyone else regarding who I’ll service. The thing is, I once met a poor hungry kid who had written this C program to predict random numbers. I didn’t C the point behind it, but this kid badly wished someone used his work. I like kids, and I made this kid’s first wish come true by using his program to decide the next geographical coordinate I’ll bless with my noble self, and I fed him Musk Melons. The kid went on to become Elon Musk.
My next destination was somewhere near the North Pole. I was surprised to know that standing there wouldn’t make me lose my balance and fall down to the South Pole. As I neared my coordinate, the surroundings got extremely deserted. Even the polar bears (who due to global warming are turning into Solar Bears) were not to be found here, and my path eventually led me to a cave.
At the exact point sat the weirdest thing I’d ever seen. It was too big in size for a Walrus, and as I went nearer to it I could see it had the features of a…….wait
“Dad?”
The creature turned around.
“She Laa! What are you doing here? No job down South?” With that he came and hugged me. The hug would have probably resulted in a Tsunami down the Arctic Ocean.
“I don’t get it. Weren’t you supposed to be with Mom in the Amazon Forest? “
“Let’s just say things are not great right now between me and Su Shee Laa. And Jeff Bezos owns Amazon Forest now.”
I didn’t really like my dad. It was because of him that I was born a Genie and had spent all my life listening to people wanting to mix cow dung in their bosses’ breakfasts and reserve their next births to be born as dogs. Among the genie community he was infamous for being notorious with people. He often spoke in a twisted manner making the person come up with a wish that would most certainly backfire. Once a man told him “Make me rich”, and he woke up the next day to see people call him by the name ‘Rich Riordan’ instead of ‘Rick Riordan’.
So I wanted to leave this place as soon as possible without inviting any trouble, and I gently tried to end the conversation. “Okay dad, nice seeing you, I really have to get going now-lots of people to make happy”. You may think I was being a female dog, but the last time I was with my dad he was compelling the whole family to play ‘Geneeya Naana’, a new game he had then created.
“What’s the hurry for, my boy? It’s been ages since we last met. This Ra-Genie-Kanth seldom gets to spend time with his son. Also, don’t forget to perform your genie duties. I may be a genie myself, but the rules apply to all. ”
“Well if we’re following rules, then aren’t you senior to me? Shouldn’t you be acting as the genie then?”
“Sure. Go on. Make them.”
“Make what?”
“The wishes, what else?”
That’s when I had my Oops!!! moment. All my life I’d existed making wishes of stupid people come true, but I’ve never wondered what would happen if I was geniealised myself.
“Give me some time to think.”
“Are you dumb? You got only 60 seconds. Actually only 30 more.”
“Why haven’t we done this before? Why now suddenly?”
“Before you were just big. Now you’re old. Twenty seconds. You wish or you die.”
I wished I died. My mind was as blank as Katrina Kaif’s face.
“Come on. This is part of our life. We’re genies. Genie us.”
“I……wait, can I ask you to die?”
“There’s nothing this Ra-genie-can’t do. But no. Kid’s these days!”
I then said the most generic and disappointing dialogue ever, one that I make fun of when heard from my clients.
“I wanna see the future.”
August 31,2055. She Laa woke up and sat on his hospital bed .A memory so old, yet so strong in his mind. He could have asked anything that day. And his dad could have just showed him what happens in the future. Instead of making him get reincarnated as a human being. With one allowance - the two remaining wishes could be used in the course of his lifetime.
The ones he had exhausted to survive the hunger games and the bullet wound inflicted by The Godfather. That meant he can’t go back now. Not unless his dad came and took him. The chances of that not happening were fatter than him.