Panchabootham
Part 2 of The Un-Four-Tunate Series
Read the first part here - this is a continuation. Also, I like the first part better
So I won the Hunger Games. I got heavily injured and had to be shifted to a wheel chair; and they had no wheelchairs to suit my size( I guess XXL applies only to clothes and burgers). I began to exist like the suave guy from Me Before You, only there was no Emilia Clarke. Also, I wasn’t suave.
The best part about winning the hunger games was that I got to meet five celebrities. They’re not actual celebrities, but characters from movies who were cloned based on how they behaved on screen. But they were very popular and stuff like #duplikatewinslet and “Leonardo Die Caprio“ were trending on social media. And to be present in the same polluted air as five of them was a dream I wouldn’t have experienced if I’d slept for 20 hours.
The meeting place was a joint called “Man Serves Wild - Bear Grills”. It had almost all the animals you’d see in a zoo (to eat of course - we’re Chinese). It also had board games.
“They still got those things?” asked the Godfather. He didn’t have his trademark accent- he either visited the dentist finally or his clone was yet to get a software update.
“As long as people are foolish enough to believe in ghosts, Ouija boards will be present” declared Tony Stark. He was not in his Iron Man suit, he said it was hard to pee while wearing it.
“From where I come from, ghosts actually exist. So do dragons, though I’m afraid if they ever visited China, they’ll start being included in the menu.” This was Ned Stark, the guy from Game Of Thrones.
“Can we just start playing?”, said Kalpana. You might know her as the Asin character from Ghajini.
“Why, are you in a hurry to go get your head hammered down?” Meghna was being rude. That was unprecedented. I thought she’d behave like she did in Vaaranam Aayiram.
It was my turn to play first. I asked the question “Do ghosts exist?”. Everyone else sighed heavily. “YES”, answered the board. Seeing me get uncomfortable, The Godfather assured me that it’s an Ouija board, of course it would say yes. He also made me an offer I can’t refuse- he told me to take his turn.
I noticed Tony Stark starring at Ned Stark. Two people from two eras. This is what you’d call a Stark contrast, I reckoned.
“Did you really get your head cut because you just weren’t smart enough to think properly?” he hissed.
“Beg your pardon?” Ned was confused. He was being Ned.
“Like you begged for Joffrey’s pardon in front of everyone? You idiot. Because of what you did, people associate the name Stark with someone who’s dumb.”
“Why are YOU talking like you’re some saint, Tony Stark? It was the bomb from YOUR company that killed me. I would have gotten to live with Surya if not for you.” Meghna was looking furious.
“JUST STOP IT. Let me have my games night for God’s sake. I don’t care what you guys did to each other. You are all clones. Don’t behave like clowns”. I was proud of myself for coming up with that.
The ruckus died down a bit. I continued playing, annoyed. “ Is there any ghost here right now?”. I don’t know why I asked that.
“YES”.
There was pin drop silence in the room. I looked at The Godfather for help, and he looked as clueless as the person who’s wondering where this article is headed. All the five of them were characters who died. ANY of them could be a ghost.
And that’s when it hit me. All the five of them are characters who died. ALL of them could be ghosts!
They had good reason to kill someone else in the group.
Tony was mad at Ned Stark for being dumb. Who didn’t like Meghna? Meghna was pissed at Tony for making the bomb that killed her. And who was Kalpana killed by? A Don! Like The Godfather. Who would the godfather want to kill?
“Anyone would be fine. I just want to kill someone the way my son killed that police officer. It was really cool”. The Godfather was replying to what I was thinking! How did he know what I was thinking? Of course he did! These are not hosts, these are ghosts!
Don Corleone took out a pistol from his suit and pointed it at me. I tried to break free from my wheelchair, but Kalpana held me from behind. I desperately wiggled my belly in vain. The trigger got released and I went flying down the hallway. “Now that he’s dead, let’s decide which one of us gets to kill whom”.
In my last moments I could hear Ned Stark’s sword slice through something. Someone screamed in agony, and I could hear him saying “Told you winter is coming”. They were going to kill each other.
There was a loud thud at the entrance. Everyone looked sideways at the creature galloping down the café swiftly. Two swords at his back. Covered from top to bottom in red.
“August 31,2055. Name She Laa. Nationality Chinese. Gender Male. Winner of Phase one of The 19th Revised Hunger Games Fifth Edition. Saved from the hands of five severely malfunctioning clones by DeadPool. Bullet injury to stomach, but organs stable because of large tummy”. I sat up in my chair and saw the girl, younger than me making my medicine.
There and back again.