The Why Axis
Final part of The Un-Four-Tunate Series
Read part 3 here - or else you won’t understand this
September 1, 2055. She was dreaming about the incidents of the last few days. Life had been more or less boring after getting reincarnated as a human. Then happened the hunger games. Followed by the meeting with a bunch of ghosts (She jokingly called them “Pei Pals”).
She was woken up by the sound of the nurse preparing medicine. She was finally starting to show some improvement after taking a mountain of pills - a pillstation, if I may, so anything that was given by the nurse She took it with the devotion of an atheist student on the day before an exam. However, it was 1am, way past the time to take the pill.
That’s when She realised that this nurse was not the one who usually visits, but……
This was not even a nurse, this was the assassin Whyshnavi dressed up as one. She could remember her face from the news. Her photo popped up in between TV shows, especially in between the scenes where the viewer can’t wait to see what happens next - hence, she was a serial killer in more than one way. The woman was carrying a gun.
“Why-” before She could complete the question, Whyshnavi took her aim and She ran down the hospital room into the balcony. She looked down the 100 storied building. It was a matter of seconds before the assassin struck a bullet, and hence She did the most logical thing anyone could possible ever think of - jumped.
He was no normal human. And his tummy was no normal tummy. He hit the floor with his belly leading the attack. Due to the extraterrestrial fat in it, once he hit the floor he was sent flying upwards like a spring. Overjoyed at converting the road into a goddamn trampoline park, he took some time to realise that his upwards spiral didn’t seem to stop. He kept going up. And up. Till he crossed the zone where there used to be atmosphere. And he still didn’t stop. He could now see the guy who was sent flying because of Salman Khan’s punch. “Why?!”
She crossed several planets and was now barely conscious. That’s when She heard the voice behind.
“Welcome to Whykuntam, She Laa.”
She turned to see Lord Wish-nu standing with his wife, Luck-shmi.
“Why am I here?!”
Looking at the perplexed expression, the Lord smiled.
“You ded.”
The Lordess elucidated. “You are now in afterlife. We thought circumstances were unfair to you. Hence we give you two options - you can either return to 2055 alive as a genie, or you can go to 2020 which was when you got reincarnated, and spend the rest of your life as a normal human.”
She gave it some thought. The world at 2055 was really horrible. Pollution everywhere. People killing each other. Going there as a genie would mean fulfilling the wishes of terrible humans. She said She’d rather go to 2020 as a normal human and enjoy a simple life. After all, when She was a genie, it was not because of choice but because “It runs in your genies”, as She’s dad used to say.
“As you wish”, they said together, and She blacked out.
September 1, 2020. Amazon Forest. She Laa was standing in front of his parents. Only, he wasn’t a genie. Like the gods had promised, he had been reborn as a human being. In 2020, the year his dad sent him to the future after removing his genie powers.
“And that, my son, is the future.”
“Why didn’t you just show it to me? Like a movie? Why did you have to reincarnate me?”
“You love Om Shanthi Om. We thought we’d let our child get a glimpse of it.”
“Why? Do you know what all I went through? First I got my genieric nature scraped and was reincarnated as a human in the future. Then I barely survived the hunger games. Also, I’ve only heard of the term ‘ghosting parties’, I had no idea it would be this horrific. Not to mention an encounter with an assassin. Are you even my parents?
Su Shee La and Ra-Genie-Kanth looked at each other and laughed. “ You couldn’t figure out it was us in spite of us both changing just our costumes? What have we given birth to! You didn’t meet two gods, you idiot. It was us out there in ‘Whykuntam’. You’re so pathetic we should name named you Chi Laa, lmao”
She Laa was enraged. He stormed out, never wanting to see his parents again.
“Hey come on!” his dad ran behind him trying to catch up. He slipped over a stone and fell on She Laa, full on. It was a giant getting squished by a really big giant. She Laa got paralysed , he felt like his brain stopped working( which was already true anyways).
“April 9,2055. 11:45am. Name She Laa. Age 50. Nationality Chinese. Gender Male. Got into coma following an accident at the Amazon forest 35 years ago.“ She was woken up by the sound of the nurse reading out the report. The nurse, Ni-Why-Dhitha, saw him and jumped up.
“He finally woke up!!!She Laa has finally woke up.”
She dialed a number. “He’s up. And yes, enrol his name into the hunger games. It starts in two months, right? Also, does the candidate’s size matter?”
“Why?!?!?!?!?!?!”